XIX: Stepping Stone to A Build-Up
I’ll be returning to my domain blog, but I have to prepare for what I should call “The Resurrection” for now.
It’s not that easy to return to a some place where “traumatic” experiences happened. Hell, I consider April 4, 2009 the most depressing day of my entire life. And the one who made me decide to go into the Figurative Underworld - the one who figuratively killed me - is also my primary driving force, my biggest inspiration.
Sounds like a paradox, but now I believe that what she did is for my own sake. A friend of mine called it “tough love”, and yes, it is. I just didn’t get to swallow what I have to swallow. The bottom line is, though she has done some cruel actions, she is still motivating me to change for the better.
I admit that I’m weak-willed, but I am doing my best to prove the critics and even myself wrong. And some people might wonder why I’m being a martyr on this situation and they’re telling to just let go. Well, call it ‘martyrdom’, call it ‘selfishness’, FUCK YOUR LABELS. I’ll do whatever it takes to fix myself up and eventually fix everything up. Your words might get into my thick head, but in the end I don’t FUCKING care what you think. I will be a better man, and a better man I will.
